Right before Emmie lost her tooth (see previous post) and while we were trying to get ready for a piano recital (see next post) Ainsley was in tears and terrified because her friends mother had yelled at her on her way home from school. Telling her and her other friend that they were mean little girls and hopefully one day they would look back and realize what horrible friends they were.
Not to sound too much like an 11 year old girl I will recount, briefly, the story....Because I still can't get over the craziness of it all!
The aforementioned woman is the mother of a girl that moved into our ward and neighborhood about a year ago. Ainsley's little group of friends reached out to this little girl and befriended her. And overtime we learned that this little girl was crazy. Ainsley put up with weeks and months of drama and fights caused by this little girl. And then when Ainsley and her friends told this little girl one day that they were having a hard time getting over fights over and over again, well, the crazy really started to happen.
That single action of Ainsley's friend standing up for her herself prompted this mother to yell at Ainsley and her friend on their way home from school. The crazy thing was that neither of the girls that got yelled at had made the comment!
Ainsley came home crying and scared. I think that if one of my friends mom's had yelled at me when I was 11 I probably would have been scared too. In an attempt to quickly fix the crazy, and the tears over a lost tooth, and get ready for a recital I did what any good mother would do. I got out ice cream. Emotions were calmed and we went about our night.
Later that night after a piano recital and bed I mustered up my courage and called the offending mother. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. But I felt this was a battle that I needed to fight for Ains. I calmly explained to the mother that Ainsley came home scared and crying and that although the girls might have some problems they needed to work out, I requested that if she ever felt the need to correct my children in the future I would ask that she talk to me first.
At this point I was expecting an apology. Instead I got an earful about why she was completely justified in yelling at my child and that Ainsley had been rude and talked about her "Super Harry Potter Playdate" in front of her daughter even though her daughter wasn't invited. The funny thing is that the "Super Harry Potter Playdate" was getting together with a classmate to work on a book report. By this point in the conversation I realized that I was dealing with a crazy woman. The conversation was headed nowhere helpful so I again requested that if she had anything negative to say to or about my children again that she talk to me first. And then and said thank you. And then I may have said good -bye and hung up quickly.
Things continued to get crazier! This mom started a facebook war (with herself really because I never responded) told her daughter that I was posting lies about her and her daughter online. Ainsley and her friends were getting glares and rude comments all day at school. And Owen has to go to her house for scouts. Awkward, right? It was crazy!
It even got brought up at ward council! (John didn't tell me that ;) Probably because this woman tried to say that her husband had finally agreed to allow her children to be baptized...but then all this happened. Talk about knowing how to manipulate the Mormons!
Anyhwho, things have since died down. But unfortunately bridges have been burned and crazy has been revealed. And now I have said my peace. And hopefully Ainsley knows that I've got her back. Because while I reserve the right to yell at my children, I don't allow others that right. Unless they deserve it....and then other people can put them in their place all they want!
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5 comments:
I'm SO glad you wrote about this. That is wild! What an awkward situation that you have to deal with every week. Who yells at someone else's kids on the street? I would be terrified to have called her - but now if I'm ever in that situation I'll think "If Jessica can, then so can I". Crazy crazy.
Ainsley is one of the nicest people I know. She would never be mean to another girl!!
Fights are much worse when parents get involved. In high school, John and a girl in the ward had a little tiff. He and she got over it in a day or two but the mother, who was crazy, harassed us for weeks. She turned her own mother, who had been a good friend, against us (for a while until the mother remembered her daughter was crazy), she made obscene phone calls to us in the middle of the night, and dumped flour and water all over one of our cars, which resulted in about $1000 damage. Then she got a job at the same school I worked at, and the crazy continued--for years!!
You did the right thing standing up for Ains, and I'm sure if people don't realize right now that the woman is crazy and manipulative, they will eventually.
So awkward. Poor Ainsley! You are such a good mom and I'm with Shelly. If something like that ever happens with Ash, I will definitely stand up for her.
Such a sad situation. I think you did the right thing. We have to stand up for our children when anyone (adult or child) is bullying them! girls/women=drama!!
My goodness, this is kind of shocking! People are so crazy.
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