On Wednesday I was informed that Ains had been fighting a lot with her friend, B,at school. According to Ainsley B told her she was mean and then Ainsley told B that she wasn't being nice and that she didn't want to play with mean people, and then Danene (her teacher) told them that they couldn't sit by each other any more.
According to Danene Ainsley follows around B a lot, and B likes to play with Sadie. But when Danene suggested that Ainsley played with Hallie, and Ains and Hallie were having fun together, B got very upset. So apparently B wants Ains to tag behind her and not have any other friends. This is so foreign to me because Ains has never seemed to be such a follower before. I talked with B's mom in nice terms and I told her that I told Ains to let B play with who she wanted to play with and that she should be friends other girls too (B was also in trouble at her house for fighting and was having a lecture on being nice to friends). I also told her teacher that I was okay with there being a rule that Ains and B can't sit by each other, in fact I'd prefer it.
So in my opinion I think that Ains is following B a little too closely and annoying B (Ains is very sweet but can be a bit much at times). I think that B isn't a particularly nice little girl and ends up saying hurtful things to Ains when she gets annoyed. I'm baffled as to why Ains is convinced that B is her best friend when I have tried so hard to encourage other friendships. I'm now telling Ains to give B some space and play with Hallie (particularly since Danene told me that these two play really well together) and to not worry about what B is doing.
And now according to Ains she is to play with Hallie and tell B that she doesn't want to play with her...I'm just waiting for that to backfire. How do you explain to t 3 year old that there are some people that just aren't worth being friends with, but that you don't have to be rude along the way?
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4 years ago
3 comments:
I'm so sorry. My mother bear instinct already takes over when little kids are mean to Hailey. I can imagine what I'll be like when she's older. Start writing down advice for me okay?
This is the trial of mothers of little girls everywhere. Girls are so fun and adorable, but the whole friendship thing is beyond me. In my social dev. class in college they called it relational aggression. Google that and see if it gets you anywhere!
Our daughter, Lainey, doesn't have any 'best' friends, which worries me. So funny, that no matter the circumstances we'll worry anyway. Sometimes I think just let them be and see what happens. But this probably isn't the best attitude. Sorry I have no advice for you!!
I feel like I'm reading about my own life! Last year Claire's friends would tell her they hated her and that she talked funny. I forbid those children from entering my house but Claire still wanted to play with them. I think kids are just easy to get their feelings hurt and even easier to forgive. That must have been an uncomfortable conversation with the other mom!
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