Some random events followed by reasons I need a vacation!

I'll begin with a few random things. First this picture of Owen. He has discovered a love of stuffed animals. It's so cute. I just love the way he carries them around. It's always propped up under his chin in his right hand, and he usually squeezes them and rubs his face into it as well. John doesn't like it when he does this with any of Ainsley's dolls and promptly takes it away and gives him his more masculine puppy or Winnie the pooh. As long as his love of things soft doesn't reach "Sydney" levels I'm sure we'll be fine!
Next, Ainsley's new incentive to be good. I'm not sure if every three year old reaches points of defiance that bring their mothers to points of extreme anger and frustration, but this girl has managed to do it. Last night after completely losing my temper with her when she decided to dump the entire contents of her dinner plate onto the table I decided it was time to set a few goals. She is currently working on listening/doing what she is told the first time, and picking up her toys. I'm sure these will be common goals for the next 18 years. She gets to take a cotton ball out ever time she meets one of her goals and then we get a prize (probably a trip to the dollar store). "WE" get a prize because Mom's goals are on the back. Mom's goals are patience, and limiting time on the computer...I'm too much of a blog freak!
After our 3 battles of the day I wish I had made one of Ainsley's goals be "GET DRESSED BY YOURSELF IN A TIMELY MANNER!" I think Ainsley spent most of the day half naked or in her pajamas. Part of the problem might have been that we had 3 clothing changes today, morning, dance, and then back into normal clothes. I started calm, due to my patience goal, but I have to admit that about 45 minutes into our final clothes change my patience was wearing thin and Ainsley got a bit of a yelling. It's funny, well not ha ha funny, but Ainsley is really a sweet girl and so pleasant and positive most of the time, but it's almost as though she has figured out what makes her mother fume and pushes the right buttons just to get a reaction. She is only three. Could she really have figured that out already and be acting certain ways on purpose. I mean, you expect that from a teenager ( I know I was that way) but is this a rude awakening for me or merely coincidence???

WARNING!!! Long meaningless rant to follow....

So, on a final note, I have decided that I am in desperate need of a vacation! Not just a weekend get away....a vacation. I want to be gone long enough that I actually want to come back because I miss my children. The longest I have been child free since the day of Ainsley's birth was 24 hours. That's not long enough to miss the kids. I am taking a shopping trip with my mom and sisters to Salt Lake in a few weeks, but we won't even be gone a full 2 days, so I'm not counting that either. John's good at giving me time off at nights and letting me get out and do things on my own but I have reached a point that will require more that that to get me back to my chipper motherly self.

I think I have "over worked and under payed" syndrome. If that's not an official syndrome I'm making it one now. My nerves are shot, I'm tired, I'm sick of cleaning up mess after mess all day every day, I'm sick of running from this to that (although I must say I'd go more crazy if we were home all day and not running), and I'm sick of being under appreciated. Children the ages of 1 and 3 aren't the best at understanding when mom needs a break and being appreciative of all their mothers do. Come to think of it I'm not sure a child of any age is good at that!

Last night I had a complete break down because John bought some Raisinettes. Why did this cause a breakdown??? Because I hate Raisinettes and I was sure that if John appreciated me and was thinking of me he would have come home with something other than Raisinettes. I think this breakdown cements the point that I need a vacation! I want to sleep in, finish Harry Potter, go for days with out making dinner, or cleaning a single dish. I don't want to change a diaper for days on end! And then when I'm back I'll be excited to see my kids. Coloring might not seem so bad. Pushing a swing over and over might not seem like a chore. And I just might enjoy myself a little more.

If you would like to donate to my vacation fund I will accept all forms of payment!

FYI: I really do love being a mom and being able to stay home with my children, I just want to cash in my vacation days!